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A Really Dumb Move

select as fave0 0 2:10 am, June 8, 2009 EDT TorontoEpps on George

So last week was eventful. We were all sick and very tired, and just generally sick and tired. Bad moods all around. Lots of unsolicited grumpiness. Not a good week for the Epp household.

One night I was trying to get some dinner together. I don't, as a rule, enjoy cooking... and I especially don't enjoy it when I'm sick. On the menu that night was a stirfry (very common in our house), and I wanted to get the rice started. I got the big huge bag of rice down from the cupboard, placed it on the stove, scooped out the rice, put it in the pot. Then, while I was adding water to the pot, I turned on the element. I was impatient. Thought I'd get it heating up.

Perhaps my more intelligent readers are already anticipating what happened next. :)

I finished putting water in the pot and went to place said pot on stove. Suddenly, I realized, "oh no! I turned on the wrong element! I didn't turn on the back one... I turned on the front one... the one that the bag of rice is sitting on!!!

Quick action was required. I turned off the element, and without giving it a second thought, snatched up the big huge bag of rice, when......

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Our ENTIRE floor was covered in thousands of grains of uncooked rice. Of course. The plastic had melted onto the element, opening the bag. It was really a lose-lose situation.

"AAAAAAAAHHHH," I screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Kaiya screamed. (I had temporarily forgotten that I have a small daughter.) I quickly picked up Kaiya, covered her with kisses, and used a very calming, reassuring voice to console her.
All the while not moving an inch. You see, we were trapped. Trapped by an endless sea of rice. (And did I mention we were all barefoot? Sticky feet and uncooked rice do not make a good match.)

But never fear, super dad was here. Jeff, fresh out of the shower, came bolting down the stairs, sure that a major catastrophe had occurred, and both wife and daughter were in need of serious rescuing. I am sure he would not want me to tell you what he was (not) wearing, but it was all an amusing sight. As soon as he saw us, he stopped dead in his tracks. "What the....???!!!"

And thus ensued about 20 minutes of sweeping and vacuuming to clean up the mess. The rice was everywhere. The stove borders on the living room, so a large part of the mess spilled into there. It was under the sofa, coffee table, kitchen table, behind the stove, inside the elements. Quite the mess. The funniest part was trying to keep Kaiya away from the cleaning process. She really likes "cleaning" lately, and we finally gave up and just let her "help." How could we resist? She had grabbed herself a cloth and was all ready to pitch in.

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